A Saint of Sorts

I want to be a Boondock Saint. There. I said it. It's not that I just think they are cool or that I want to kill all the scum of the earth, just a few types. Two in particular, both involving cars.

1) Do not take your sweet ass time moving your fat ass through the cross walk. I am in a car. I am encased in steel. I win. I'm not saying you need to sprint across the street but don't crawl across while staring at me waiting for you so I can make a right hand turn.
2) Stop parking in the middle of the street. What in the hell are you possibly thinking?! I don't care if you put your hazards on or not (which you usually don't bother), there is no reason you have a immunity to the traffic laws.

Don't make me drop a toilet on your head people.

An Angry Open Letter to one Carl Jr.

Dear Mr. Jr.,

Listen up buddy, I've had about enough. Who do you think you are flaunting your new Portobello Mushroom Thickburger every fifteen minutes on television? This one doesn't even have an attractive girl and I've never wanted one more. So fine. You win. You knew you would. Oh look at that. Google maps found one of your establishments a mere two miles from my apartment. In a small eight minutes, the combo will be in my possession. Or so I thought. Way to go hiding the restaurant, but last time I checked, you want people to be able to find your product in order to...order it. This proves not to be the case with your downtown Los Angeles location as I circled the address twice and could not find it. FIne. A quick call to the roommate and I will be redirected to the next one.

Vermont and Normandie? Really Carl? How is it I can pass about a million Burger Kings and a dozen other fast food places, but I have to truck my ass all the way to Vermont and Normandie to find yours. Fine. It's fine. Sorry. I'm just having a bad day that's all. Oh here it comes up on the left. Hmm. No drive thu or parking lot. Ok. I'll just park half in the red and half in the yellow down the street. I'd like to see someone stop me from getting this burger now. If they can manage to tow my car in the time it takes you to whip up one of your combos then they can keep it.

There. Order placed. To go number 63. Now we play the waiting game. Shit. I forgot to say curly fries. Maybe I can ask...nevermind they just put the regular ones up there. I still blame you. Bag in hand I race out the door. I have precious little time to get all the way back home in time to enjoy my meal warm. Oh wonderful. Everyone else in Los Angeles also wants to hurry home right at this moment as well. Now what was suppose to have taken eight minutes has taken an hour.

The moment of truth. I do the little fast food dinner dance when I walk through my apartment door. Throw the keys and wallet. Kick off the shoes and grab a plate. This whole scene becomes a blur of panic as if the burger is going to disappear unless I eat it immediately. I take out my regular (dammit) fries and liberate the burger from its carton and wrapper. My that looks like a tasty burger. I quickly get comfortable lift the burger to my mouth, twisting it about trying to find out the best angle from which to take my first victorious bite. After I make my way past the entire head of lettuce they managed to cram on there, I sink my teeth into the cheesy mess of mushrooms and meat. Now it's been a while since I have had Hardees (the true name of your franchise). The one thing I remember is that it does not disappoint. And this was certainly no exception. This was indeed a delicious fast food burger. But it did not wow me. C'mon Carl. Hardee's less complex version of the Infamous number three, mushroom n swiss thickburger, leads in delicious points. I could have stopped at any other joint in my journey to yours and who knows, maybe next time I will.

You did this to yourself Carl.

Three Albums That Recently Changed My Life

Wilco - Sky Blue Sky

This album screams "Hey let's be depressed, but let's be ok with it." It's almost as if Jeff Tweedy tells a personal story on each track. I find myself singing certain tracks throughout the day as certain life events spark the need.


Stars - In Our Bedroom After the War

I listened to this entire album at least twice every week while traveling to various cities on a job. The ultimate plane album as you can just get lost in the personal lyrical exchange of Torquil Campbell and Amy Millan. Absolutely chilling and always beautiful.


Kings of Leon - Because of the Times

The distinct sound of three brothers and a cousin is never mistaken. The imperfect squeeks and yells compliment the complex guitar break downs. Perfect for listening at a small bar during happy hour while playing pool. If you can understand the lyrics, you'll start singing them with the deepest of feelings

My new years resolution

Never ever ever ever ever ever ever fly out of lax again.
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

Pilgrims Blue Ribbon

Spent Thanksgiving at the beach again this year. I am thankful for many things, but right now it's the fact that tomorrow I can start playing Christmas music.

Here try this...

Latest Music Video

I shot this. Todd directed it. Song is Worn (and of plastic) by Dannel Vonn Dillon .



See a higher quality version on infatuationfilms.com . Look for it soon on Mtv2.

You walk on my subjects

You don't know this, but I take pictures of carpets. I had to type that out to see if it sounded any less sad than when I say it out loud. It doesn't. Let me try again. Hi, I take pictures of carpets. Hmm, maybe if I jazz it up a little. Why yes I am a photographer. What's that? Oh, you know, carpets, rugs, floor coverings in general.

I had to actually step back and question myself today on how I would light a bamboo rug so the light would rake off it leaving the slightest, natural glow. My professionalism in this matter astounds me. I work in a "studio" in the back of a warehouse by myself about once every two weeks and work with what I must say are very easy going models. They don't ask for bathroom or smoke breaks. They are perfectly comfortable just laying there flat on the ground. There's no problem that can't be fixed by an iron or some tape.

You can try and find what I have been doing at import flooring but I have no idea which one's I have done at this point. Well, ok, so far it is 11 rugs and 30 tile samples. It's not creative, but it's a paycheck. Look out Hollywood. I have arrived.

You are all best supporting roles in my dreams

I was running. It was a clearing with woods on either side. The path had some turns in it but was for the most part straight. The running was all intercut with what was to follow. A girl about my age ran up next to me. She was dressed in a yellow and red spandex type outfit with small yellow wings behind each ear, much like Mercury, the Roman messanger god. As she paced next to me she told me I would have a much better chance at winning if I would stop pulling up the path. As I looked down, I realized I was moving forward by pulling up the ground and pulling myself forward, much like a cartoon, except when they run the ground goes up behind them. I was using the rubbery ground to propel myself forward. After she informed me that, she started to run ahead of me. I pulled and pulled faster than ever and then eventually stopped and just started running normally. I diminished the distance between us and passed her right as I crossed through the finish line tape. Now for the intercutting part.

I found myself walking through a large house that I have never been to before. It held as many people as it possibly could, all of whom I knew. People from all periods of my life. People I see on a regular basis. People I haven't seen in years. As I wound my way through the crowded house, everyone just smiled and nodded their heads slightly. I knew why all these people were here. It was common knowledge. I had decided to kill myself and they were going to see me off. They didn't come to stop me or cheer me on. They came just to be there. The amount of people was overwhelming. As I made my way to the stairs, I came across my father, except he looked nothing like my father. He shook my hand and said he wises I didn't have to do it, but he understands and he'll miss me. I felt like I was floating through the house with a smile on my face as I nodded back to all the people in my life. I made my way up the stairs, which were also crowded, and heard my mother crying. I never got a look at her face, but she was on the ground in a room upstairs surrounded by more people. She was crying because she knew what was going to happen. I tried to keep the smile on my face, but kept breaking into a crying face. I put my hand on my mothers back and told her it was going to be alright. I had decided not to kill myself afterall. The people's reactions didn't really change.

Next thing I know I am at a Jack in the Box with some of the people from the house. It is just as packed and I am sitting in a booth in the middle catching up with a friend from high school.

Mandatory Getaway

While filling up my car for 3.29 a gallon, breathing nothing but pure McDonald fumes, and looking around at all the buildings and concrete, I have realized that I need to get away. We all need to get away. Let's all take a vacation. Wait. No. If we all do that, we will still be crowded, just in a better place. How about I just take a vacation? Ok. I want to be out where nothing else is. This may seem strange coming from someone who needs everything they need or don't need at their fingertips at all time, but wouldn't it be grand to not have a gas station or a McDonalds or whatever for miles and miles. Somewhere magical where you can't hear people honking. Somewhere where the same lady doesn't run up to you saying it is an emergency holding out her hand for money. Ahhhhh to dream.

On another note, I just killed 10+ maggots in our kitchen.
On a directly related note, I have signed a lease on a new place and will be moving in next week.

On the most important note, I just caught wind that it is Mohawktober. I have attempted it myself. Pictures to follow.